People are Allowed to Leave You

People are Allowed to Leave YouI saw this last night and found it very interesting. It tugs at my heart a bit, especially given the recent break-up (though we did talk again for almost two hours the other night, so I’m doing pretty well, all things considered), but overall I found it to ring true. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but it prompted an odd feeling of unrest in me despite the fact that I think it provides a fair assessment. As one of my grad school professors used to say, “People are just trying to get their needs met.”

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Self-confidence Sunday #10

I took this photo before going to the earlier gym this week. It's been interesting, because during the course of coaching 15-20 hours a week plus being so stressed by everything to do with the precursors to the breakup, I lost more weight and size than I realized.

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Even in this Void

Oh, my love.
You gouge my heart as
Fast as you could fill it
and
Do neither with any intention.

I never knew
how full and
empty
I could be
All at one time.

Yet even in this void,
there is you.

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Back in the Saddle Again

We elderlies decided to play around a bit after six hours at the gym tonight. After the last two weeks I’ve had, this was exactly what I needed. ❤️ Nothing complicated, but here’s one of my fellow coaches and I going for a walk-in hands to heel stretch:

When the injured elderlies get to play a bit instead of instructing… 😂😊 "We've only been here six hours, we ain't tired!" Just what I needed after a rough couple weeks. 👌🏻 #cheercoachproblems #stunts #lovemyjob #unitedcheer

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The February Trifecta

We always talk about trouble coming in threes, and though this often seems to (randomly) match reality, I generally consider the phrase to be the equivalent of folklore. After the past week or so, however, I think I may need to reevaluate that stance.

One: Significant other broke up with me (on Valentine’s Day, though that was partly at my urging that we make a decision rather than let it hang over us any longer).

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You Walk Like Every Poem I Wish I Could Write

You Walk Like Every Poem I Wish I Could Write

Although I’ve already used this image in a previous post, a line from this poem has consistently drifted to my mind for the past few weeks. If there could be one way to describe all the things I yearn to tell him–to show him–about who he is through the filter of my admiring eyes, it would be this: “You walk like every poem I wish I could write.”

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Self-Confidence Sunday #9

Delts Fitness Progress PhotoThis post isn’t particularly inspiring or exciting, but I took this photo last Saturday when I hit the gym and noticed that my “coaching delts” are certainly back in full-force. People often are surprised that coaching alone keeps my upper body in such good shape, but that just goes to show that they often don’t understand what goes into the job! For a great many reasons that go beyond physical fitness, I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be a coach. It makes me happy, and it flat-out just makes me a better person all-around.

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After Forgiving: Forget or Move On?

I finally contacted him this morning. It was the longest we’d ever gone without speaking (5.5 days, to be precise). I barely slept, and I was mad at him (stemming partly from Instagram, but I don’t know if I even have the energy to write about that right now). I texted to tell him that I was angry with him, after which he said it was pretty deserved (due to the break-up itself and the communication issues that resulted in that). I fired off plenty of reasons why, beginning with IG and then moving on to short bits of things that I “let go” while we were dating but that were never really resolved to satisfaction.

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Dented Armor

I know what you would tell me. “It’s for work. You don’t realize that all of the things I do are connected to work in some way.” “I rarely get the time to see them. It was for their kids.” “But it was Random Act of Kindness Day. Are you really going to get mad at me for doing something nice for someone? I can’t just see you all the time.” “Of course I’m going to NCA’s. How could I not, especially with the chance to meet people I could do work for? You’re actually getting mad at me for doing something I love that helps my business? When you act that way, it really doesn’t make me want to see you.”

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