Month: February 2016

One Day at a Time

We broke up yesterday (yes, on Valentine’s Day). At least, if nothing else, the dread is worse than the actual reality. I can be grateful that the last month of us barely being able to spend time together prepared me for actually not being together.

It’s funny though, because if it had to happen, we at least got the best possible scenario. We both know that we can’t meet the other’s needs right now. He can’t give me the support and togetherness that I need, and I certainly can’t give him the amount of space for work that he needs right now. I still don’t understand why we couldn’t compromise, but I have to accept that his needs are different from mine and that I can’t always understand those. I’m glad that I won’t have to sacrifice my needs or hide my hurt anymore, and that I won’t feel like I’m lowering my standards for what I want in a relationship.

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Maybe It’s Goodbye Again

Funny how when you finally find a way to persuade yourself to stop worrying about something, it looks like you should have been worried after all. I had a post all drafted up about the positive side of my significant other’s qualities that sometimes play a big role in our arguments, written mostly because he has this idea that he always makes me upset and that he can’t make me happy. But it seems like he’s too busy, stressed, exhausted to want to bother with us anymore… I guess if he has to cut something stressful out of his life, the woman who loves him is easier to ditch than work, his business (obviously), coaching, his recreational sport, etc.

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True Life: I Made My Recruiter Cry

“Not to jinx it, but…”

With as frequently as I have heard not to count my “eggs” before they hatch, one would think I would have learned by this age not to get too excited before I know that a prospect is a sure thing. In keeping with my naturally obnoxious optimistic nature though, I just can’t help but to bounce around excitedly way before I have a certifiable, set-in-stone reason. Maybe that isn’t wise, per se, but I think I’d rather let myself experience the sort of elation that truly makes me feel alive rather than carefully curate my feelings out of some fear of disappointment.

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Self-confidence Sunday #8

It feels like a lot of things have fallen apart in about the last 24-48 hours, so I could really use this dose of positivity today. Sometimes I have these days where it seems like I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life (making the choice to go to graduate school feels naive and misguided at times, for example), as though I’m not where I “should” be, and like I’m not as good at anything as I should be by this point.

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Love Sneaks

It’s funny how love works. Sometimes all the grandest gestures in the world don’t make a bit of difference, even if you wish they would, and you just can’t love someone. Other times…seeing him burning up with fever–or exhausted and congested and frustrated and grumpy–just makes you want to take the weight of the world for him, even though he’d never let you. Somehow, perhaps inexplicably if we rely on logic, this man has unlocked your love simply by existing.

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