Allowing Pain to be Ugly

Why is it that we believe Elegance must be the face of a woman's suffering?

In the digital age especially, we have this idea that pain and heartbreak should be purely internal experiences. "We don't air our dirty laundry," an adage I heard more than once growing up in the South, is an apt summation of the notion that we (meaning anyone "respectable") don't speak of our struggles in the public realm.

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Things to Do Instead of Texting Him

By now, most of us know how we should probably answer the question, “Should I text him?” Almost invariably, even if we don’t actually know anything about the situationship at hand, the proper response is going to be an emphatic, “Hell no, girl!” Or in other words, “Quit giving your heart, energy, and attention to someone who isn’t reciprocating your interest. Period.”

But as anyone who has squared with dating in the digital age can tell you, that feat is much easier said than done when you: 1.) really like someone; 2.) thought (s)he was equally interested; and 3.) there has been no real discussion to (truthfully) explain the change in enthusiasm.

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Easy Come, Easy Go

It felt like a fairytale.

I wasn’t really looking for anything other than someone to grab a drink with one evening after work. But he—as he put it when talking about me—just “checked all kinds of boxes,” per se. More than anyone else ever had.

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Choosing Forgiveness, Finding Peace

This week has been one full of lessons for me.

I've learned exactly how fast I can move when I witness an electrical fire in a garage full of cars...that happens to be located directly under my apartment. (Spoiler: car and cat were both moved to safe locations and the fire department got there within minutes, so thankfully no vehicles burst into flame.)

I've learned that this adult ADHD means I still deal with certain types of stress the same as always: don't eat (and y’all KNOW I love food), don't sleep, and run like hell. I've actually lost a full 1.5 inches from my waist just since Thanksgiving last week.

I've also been gently reminded that we simply can't expect other people to treat us how we would treat them, whether in friendship, in love, or in life in general.

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Rejoining the Living and Writing

“Write clear and hard about what hurts. Don’t avoid it. It has all the energy. Don’t worry, no one ever died of it. You might cry or laugh, but not die.” —Ernest Hemingway

So the below is from a post I put up on Instagram this week. Typically I don’t post on social media about what’s happening in my “real life,” but I figured someone in a similar position might appreciate the solidarity.

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Self-Confidence Sunday #21–Big Girl Job, Big Girl Hair

So if you follow me on any social media platforms, you have probably just seen this picture due to my excitement. =) Finally, after a full year of putting it off (partly because I’m thrifty, partly because I’m lazy), I went and got this hair handled! One of the guys who used to coach with me also happens to be a cosmetologist and he is FABULOUS. Seriously. I don’t think my hair has ever looked this good, and I am so ecstatic about it. But as he said, “You got the big girl job, now it’s time to get the big girl hair!”

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Money, New Year’s Resolutions, and Financial Freedom

I know a lot of people are making finance-related new year’s resolutions this week, so I thought I would share some of the savings/investment tools that have really made a difference for me in the past year. And if you’re reading this after the new year–well hey, it’s never too late to make moves toward financial freedom!
My newest favorite (as of April 2017) is Wealthsimple, which is where I hold my Roth IRA. They let you invest in socially responsible companies and they manage your first $5,000 free. In addition, if you sign up through someone else’s referral, you each get an additional $10,000 managed free for another year. My  link is here: Wealthsimple-Smart Investing.

Update: since Digit is going to start charging $2.99/month for their services starting in July, I’ve decided to stop using them by that time. That may be okay for some people…but I’m cheap enough that that was a deal-breaker for me. =) Just leaving this here for the sake of information.

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