I wanted my first post of 2016 to be about looking forward, about the major points my significant other earned on Christmas and New Year’s, about excitement and plans and self-improvement (and probably about cheeseburgers to be honest, if I included my top priorities in life). Instead, I was thrown a bit of a wrench health-wise at the turn of the year.
However, an awesome, unexpected thing happened as I worked through the shock and confusion of the diagnosis: I realized that I could simply choose not to let it upset me. Indeed, even though it may (or may not) be something I have to deal with in the future, I felt at my very core that I just do not have enough energy left to be sad and downtrodden this year. I will no longer dwell on things I cannot change, on events over which I have no control. I will not rob myself of happiness in 2016.
The whole experience was very liberating. It was as if in some small way, I had finally given myself permission to just be happy again…even if my life isn’t where I feel it should be. If I wake up in a bad mood or begin to feel overwhelmed about the many things I feel I must do in order to be “good enough,” I have learned to breathe, repeat my mantra “Today is a good day,” and then live in such a way as to make that statement come true. I may still have a long way to go, and there are plenty of unmet goals towards which I am striving, but I now have peace of mind as I remember that I am worthy of happiness anyway.