Texts I Should Send But Never Will

“You can’t just treat women like they are disposable because you are hurting (due to your own actions making your last one leave). Don’t come to me for comfort–to talk and laugh and play video games together and make you feel like a human being–and then disappear. I never asked for anything, but don’t make promises you never intended to keep. Don’t marvel at the fact that I stroke your hair as if I care about you–I do: in fact, I care about people in general–and then treat me with disregard. My attention is valuable, my time is valuable, and so is my friendship. If there is one thing I can promise you, it is that I won’t give you the opportunity to heal your old wounds by gouging one out in me. By nature, you don’t deserve any part of me if you’re willing to treat others this way. I wish I’d learned that lesson long ago.”

Read More

Self-Confidence Sunday #26–A Little at a Time

I felt like I didn’t accomplish anything today. I feel that way fairly often to be quite honest, but perhaps my expectations are a bit lofty. We had bday stuff for one of my dearest friends last night, so I actually didn’t get in and to bed til last 3 a.m., so I definitely slept later than I would prefer. Here’s my recap for myself, so I don’t start beating myself up over being “lazy” today:

Read More

Self-confidence Sunday #24—Made of Stronger Stuff

Sometimes, strong people overlook how much they have overcome. We forget to praise our own resilience, to cherish the perseverance that bears witness to a lifetime of trial by fire. That, this week, is what I am remembering to love about myself.

I often fail to notice when I am tired or overwhelmed because for so much of my life, I haven’t had the luxury of doing so. That’s something I learned from my parents. I do have that luxury now, however, and self-care (beginning with self-awareness) is starting to emerge as a theme I should carefully integrate into my week.

Read More

A Life Lesson to End 27

When I turned 27, one of my challenges to myself was to begin acting on Maya Angelou’s wisdom that, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Key word here being “first.” If you know me well, you know that despite everything, I believe in people. I believe in their goodness, their capacity to change for the better, their ability to achieve anything they put their mind to. Try as I might (and trust me, I have TRIED), I can’t help that—it’s just how I’m wired. That quality is part of what makes me a good coach, a good teammate, a good partner and coworker…but it also means that I don’t walk away from unhealthy relationships, toxic work environments, or generally persnickety felines when I really should.

Read More

Thankful

Tonight, I settle into bed with a cup of chamomile tea, a curious and loving furball of a cat, and (nearly) a full night’s sleep ahead of me before I get up to coach in the morning.

I find myself thankful for my independence, my health, the opportunities that lie ahead of me (including a lucrative contract position I’m taking on next week!), and the fact that I had the luxury today of curling up with a good Harry Potter book and forgetting the “real” (read: Muggle) world while I read.

Read More

Repeating Life’s Lessons Until They Are Learned

If there is anything I think I finally, finally need to thoroughly learn this year, it is to stop trusting men I care about more than I trust my own intuition. “Always trust your gut” is an adage I’ve heard probably from the time I could walk, but it’s a lot easier said than done when going with your gut means acknowledging that someone you love, admire, esteem, etc., is lying to you or simply isn’t who you thought they were.

Read More

Best Savings and Investment Apps for Your 2018 Financial Resolutions

It’s that time of year again! As we jump into the new year and everyone makes their finance-related resolutions, I like to share some of my own favorite tools and apps for saving and investing. I’ve added (and subtracted) several over the past year, but here are my current recommendations:

Read More

Self-Defense

It was a Makarov IJ-70. Soviet-era, heavy. She’d chosen it for the five-point star on the handle— which reminded her of her home state—and the image it evoked of a war-hardened military commander who, surely, would have fewer second thoughts than was she. She didn’t much want to admit it, but she’d also chosen it for the 16-pound trigger pull. Her brother had told her she could carry it safety-off with no trouble; she just wished she didn’t have to carry it.

Read More

Living in Color

When you’re hurting, I think it can be easy at times to allow your world to fade into gray. And that’s okay: sometimes, you have to do whatever it takes to get through whatever trial you’re facing.

Typically, I haven’t had the “luxury” of taking the time to process whatever grief or anger a situation has caused. This time, I made sure to go through that process. I’ll be honest, it was hard as hell and it pulled me way out of my comfort zone, but it was probably a lot healthier to allow myself to heal and gain wisdom from the experience.

Read More

In Comparison

You know, the guy I dated for a couple years in college cheated on me. When I found out, I left him. On my 22nd birthday 6-7 weeks later, he let me know that he had bought my engagement ring several months before and was planning to propose that night. Asked me if I wanted to at least see it, etc.

That night, I gave myself ten seconds to cry over it. Then I promptly pulled myself together and went out to dinner with my roommates and then out on the town (without the girls, who went to bed) to dance the night away.

Read More