Bump in the Road & Blessing in Disguise

I wanted my first post of 2016 to be about looking forward, about the major points my significant other earned on Christmas and New Year’s, about excitement and plans and self-improvement (and probably about cheeseburgers to be honest, if I included my top priorities in life). Instead, I was thrown a bit of a wrench health-wise at the turn of the year.

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Where Do You Go When You’re Broken?

Sometimes, it feels as though most outlets for connecting, sharing, and exploring life (i.e. social media, etc.) only receive the bright side of our experiences. Though some people most certainly self-censor in order to maintain an illusion, others likely refrain in the interest of preserving pride or not damaging relationships with others. I don’t know exactly why I have a hard time talking about negative experiences in detail with people, but I also have a much harder time writing about them, even if I’m the only one who will ever read it. Perhaps it’s the idea that if bad experiences and weak moments aren’t down in writing, they aren’t “real.”

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Money Blues

Just thinking about my finances today, I am overwhelmed. From loans for graduate school to the car note (my car was totaled last November when I got rear-ended) to surgery bills to regular old “life” bills, it feels like I don’t even know where to start. After graduate school, I moved back home to help my parents with a lot of much-needed, much-overdue work on their house and yard. I felt they more than deserved that help, and after how miserable I was during my time in Missouri, I just needed to be able to work with my hands and be near people who love me. We’ve made wonderful progress on that on renovations and organization, but it has been a real challenge to my identity. I hadn’t lived at home since high school, and my tendency toward financial independence at a young age and working ridiculous hours had been big parts of who I was.

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Surprise, Surprise

“Every day we come across so many things – some mundane and some quite out of the ordinary. … Share one (or more) of those funny/interesting things of your week every Saturday.”

This week was my significant other’s birthday, so naturally, I had some surprises up my sleeve. I met him at work during lunch to get his house key (see, he trusts me!) and headed over to get things ready for the evening. Knowing that he had an extremely busy couple weeks ahead, and that he wanted to have his place straightened up before his siblings, their families, and cousins came in from out of town (and out of the country), I figured I may as well get some cleaning and organizing done while I had the time. And I certainly had plenty of time: he would soon be busy enjoying the professional massage I had arranged as the first of his birthday surprises.

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My Future Reduced to Six Words

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other:”

And she laughed ’til she cried.

One of the most memorable things my mother ever said to me during my childhood was, “Sometimes you’ve got to either laugh or cry, and I would just rather laugh.” It should be noted that this frame of mind comes amidst a peculiarly high number of tragedies and mishaps happening to one family: friends and family refer to this as our “curse” (we jokingly apologize when bad things happen to them, since it must just be the ol’ family curse rubbing off).

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No Time To Waste

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “No Time to Waste.”

“Life is too short to: let fear of failure rob you of life lessons and beautiful memories.”

If there is anything I regret (despite the popular cliche advising against ever regretting a thing), it is the many times I let fear keep me from trying something new. There is plenty of psychological research behind the rationale for this, especially where “gifted girls” are concerned…but no matter how well I have come to understand why I shied away from certain pursuits, I still remain a bit sad that I cared so much about upholding an appearance of seemingly effortless perfection that I sacrificed my own happiness. Looking back on these tendencies from my high school and college days, my 25 year-old self must ask: where is the sense in that? Whether it was letting softball pitches go by rather than possibly swing and miss, turning down choir solos in case I choked at the performance, or neglecting to try out for sports and/or musical honors I easily could have earned, I cannot think of a single time it was truly beneficial to let caution be my life guide.

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A Case of the “Mondays”

When you feel like giving up September 14: As goes the saying, “When it rains, it pours.” Today, it poured.

It’s funny, I wrote the above draft a month ago, yet today I am unsure what exactly prompted the post (though I have something of an idea: that was probably the day of the two totaled cars in the family and totaled car for the boyfriend, among other things). That is a good reminder that troubles never last forever. On another day during which the stress seems prone to multiplying, I want to remember this simple phrase: Better Things Are Coming. I may not yet know what those “better things” will be, but I do know that everything will work out. Hitting the gym and pounding the track used to be my methods for coping with problems; I’m looking forward to incorporating those back into my life in a much more hardcore manner, like before (I do miss those abs!). I’ve just got to keep my head up, continue working hard (and indeed, begin to work much harder), remember my purpose, and aggressively go after all that I want. I may be looking at a setback or two, it’s true, but if I keep pushing, everything will pay off in the long run.  And if not I can always lie in bed and drink wine with my cat, so we’re looking at a win-win situation here, let’s be honest. 😉

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Windshield or the Bug?

It Never Rains Forever I can’t decide which of the two I am this week, it seems. There certainly have been lots of ups and downs: I’ve gotten great workouts in; been notified that I did not get the job I somewhat thought I had in the bag; accomplished a decent amount on my parents’ house; successfully managed a (stressful) promotional event; spent much-overdue time with one of my best friends; fought with the boyfriend and felt terrible about it/been over the moon about my success on what (I hope) will be a pretty darn badass birthday surprise for him; family dog was successfully treated for heartworms; felt fat then strong then slow then fat-ish; more financial stressers for the parentals…etc.

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