Lingering Shadows Unbidden

December 2, 2017

Dear God,
You’re going to make me crazy.
It’d be so much easier
To move on
If your shadow didn’t linger
In my bed
When the throes of ecstasy
Subside.

–Sarah Clinton

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Closure

Signed, sealed, delivered—following my brain instead of my heart this time. Looks like your part in my story is over, love.

December 13, 2017

D,

I never got the chance to read it to you, but there’s a Warsan Shire poem that beautifully captures how I felt about you when we were seeing each other. It’s probably neither here nor there for us now, but I suppose sometimes everyone needs to know that despite our faults, someone out there would happily continue to choose us every day.

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My Parents’ Letters

My parents met in college in the early 1980s. Smitten, they were soon engaged and then married when my mother was 19 and my father was 22. For the last semester of his pastoral program, Dad had to do missionary work in France; my mother, however, remained in Nashville. This was of course before the internet, and long-distance calls certainly weren't cheap.

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Things I Wish I Could Tell You

I want to lay my head on your chest and just listen to you talk. It had been a long time since I’d been that intimate with anyone.

I miss hearing about your day. I miss the way your eyes would light up when you’d talk about something you’re really passionate about. I miss your eyes lighting up when you’d talk that way about me.

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