It’s funny how love works. Sometimes all the grandest gestures in the world don’t make a bit of difference, even if you wish they would, and you just can’t love someone. Other times…seeing him burning up with fever–or exhausted and congested and frustrated and grumpy–just makes you want to take the weight of the world for him, even though he’d never let you. Somehow, perhaps inexplicably if we rely on logic, this man has unlocked your love simply by existing.
Sometimes it hits me when I miss you “just because.” Sometimes it’s when I want you near and just hope you feel the same, but worry that my absence makes less difference to you. Sometimes, it’s when I’m goofy-happy for no reason and want to sit on your lap and chatter to you and hear all about your day.
Love sneaks up on me when I’m proud of one of my munchkin athletes and can’t wait to share that with you; when I feel beat-down and discouraged and want your reassurance; when I think of the silly things you say to make fun of my quirks; when I start storing up all the things I want to ask you-and blather on about-until I finally get to steal you away again. It’s when I remember your kisses, long for the warmth of that one soft blanket on your bed that I have to use because you think my toes are freezing cold (okay, you win that one), or remember the sparkle in your pretty brown eyes when you call me mean short people names and I threaten to step on all ten of your extra big toes.
I haven’t said it yet, and I don’t know when I will, but I know I love you when the very sound of your voice, the mere thought of you at all, gives me a sense of warmth, peace, and security. You don’t know it yet, but oh honey, with you I’ve fallen deeper than I ever intended…and this time, I don’t want to come up for air.