Allowing Pain to be Ugly

Why is it that we believe Elegance must be the face of a woman's suffering?

In the digital age especially, we have this idea that pain and heartbreak should be purely internal experiences. "We don't air our dirty laundry," an adage I heard more than once growing up in the South, is an apt summation of the notion that we (meaning anyone "respectable") don't speak of our struggles in the public realm.

Read More

Things to Do Instead of Texting Him

By now, most of us know how we should probably answer the question, “Should I text him?” Almost invariably, even if we don’t actually know anything about the situationship at hand, the proper response is going to be an emphatic, “Hell no, girl!” Or in other words, “Quit giving your heart, energy, and attention to someone who isn’t reciprocating your interest. Period.”

But as anyone who has squared with dating in the digital age can tell you, that feat is much easier said than done when you: 1.) really like someone; 2.) thought (s)he was equally interested; and 3.) there has been no real discussion to (truthfully) explain the change in enthusiasm.

Read More

Self-confidence Sunday #14: You Will Never Steal My Joy Again

It isn't easy yet...but I am free.

Read More

Self-confidence Sunday #13

Although losing him has been hard, today I am reminded of the fact that I can turn this heartbreak into a learning experience and further enrich my worldview, my capacity for empathy, and my understanding of myself. We’ve all been in that place where we thought someone deserved the world and we ultimately ended up rejected, often seemingly out of the blue. It hurts, but it’s an opportunity to take a deeper look into what we want and need out of relationships, what the other person wasn’t giving us that we at first did not acknowledge, where we have room to improve…and where, perhaps, we need to learn to know our own worth and expect more out of the other person. Sometimes, I think we actually get left when we do not expect enough out of our significant others, although that can be a scary thing to do.

Read More

A Hot Mess

I don’t have anything particularly exciting or insightful to say today. For the first time since 2010, I slept through my (5:30) alarm when I was scheduled to work a promotion. Promos are a bit different than your average job in that if you are late, you frequently are not allowed to come in and work your shift because there is a back-up person on-site in the event someone on the roster has an emergency (or flakes). So, I ended up staying home today.

Read More

Everything Changes

One thing that has really struck me about the process of moving on (or whatever it is that I'm doing) is that my emotions and energy can vary extremely widely from day to day. It seems that this often is dependent upon my sense of control over the situation and whether or not we have interacted (or interacted positively).

Read More

Self-confidence Sunday #11

Maybe things don't need to be easy. Maybe I needed him to come into my life, make me happy, make me hope and dream and love and plan...and then leave me, making me feel so out of control that I am desperate to make needed changes to my life. Maybe someday, I will thank him for this.

Read More

Sprint-Crawling Along

What I do know is that it will never be a good thing to date someone who is less into me than I am into him, and who will not treasure me, cherish me, love me, respect me, and communicate with me consistently...and feel lucky to have the opportunity to do so.

Read More