Tag: Breakups

Living in Color

When you’re hurting, I think it can be easy at times to allow your world to fade into gray. And that’s okay: sometimes, you have to do whatever it takes to get through whatever trial you’re facing.

Typically, I haven’t had the “luxury” of taking the time to process whatever grief or anger a situation has caused. This time, I made sure to go through that process. I’ll be honest, it was hard as hell and it pulled me way out of my comfort zone, but it was probably a lot healthier to allow myself to heal and gain wisdom from the experience.

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In Comparison

You know, the guy I dated for a couple years in college cheated on me. When I found out, I left him. On my 22nd birthday 6-7 weeks later, he let me know that he had bought my engagement ring several months before and was planning to propose that night. Asked me if I wanted to at least see it, etc.

That night, I gave myself ten seconds to cry over it. Then I promptly pulled myself together and went out to dinner with my roommates and then out on the town (without the girls, who went to bed) to dance the night away.

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Dating Deal-Breakers: Ladies, Know When to Run

So I’ll be the first to say that I don’t necessarily have the best luck with men (if you’ve followed my writing for very long, you can attest to this). Some of that is because I—a coach through and through—tend to see people’s potential, forgive mistakes, and assume that everyone I meet is generally trying his or her best from their own current level of consciousness.

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You Always Leave Like Rain

The rain lashed at my window
Like your words at my heart.
Cutting, biting,
Colder than I expected.

Little did you know
This was preferable
To the Silent void left
As you faded day by day.

–Sarah Clinton

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Lingering Shadows Unbidden

December 2, 2017

Dear God,
You’re going to make me crazy.
It’d be so much easier
To move on
If your shadow didn’t linger
In my bed
When the throes of ecstasy
Subside.

–Sarah Clinton

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Closure

Signed, sealed, delivered—following my brain instead of my heart this time. Looks like your part in my story is over, love.

December 13, 2017

D,

I never got the chance to read it to you, but there’s a Warsan Shire poem that beautifully captures how I felt about you when we were seeing each other. It’s probably neither here nor there for us now, but I suppose sometimes everyone needs to know that despite our faults, someone out there would happily continue to choose us every day.

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Allowing Pain to be Ugly

Why is it that we believe Elegance must be the face of a woman's suffering?

In the digital age especially, we have this idea that pain and heartbreak should be purely internal experiences. "We don't air our dirty laundry," an adage I heard more than once growing up in the South, is an apt summation of the notion that we (meaning anyone "respectable") don't speak of our struggles in the public realm.

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Things to Do Instead of Texting Him

By now, most of us know how we should probably answer the question, “Should I text him?” Almost invariably, even if we don’t actually know anything about the situationship at hand, the proper response is going to be an emphatic, “Hell no, girl!” Or in other words, “Quit giving your heart, energy, and attention to someone who isn’t reciprocating your interest. Period.”

But as anyone who has squared with dating in the digital age can tell you, that feat is much easier said than done when you: 1.) really like someone; 2.) thought (s)he was equally interested; and 3.) there has been no real discussion to (truthfully) explain the change in enthusiasm.

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