10/29/2018
For the first time in years,
I caught myself praying.
Not for the Lord to help me
Possess, enchant, or enthrall you,
No.
I did not ask
That you fall hotly, madly, irrevocably
In love with me,
Though I imagine that would
Feel something like a warm rain
Kissing the dry, hard earth
During my favorite spring thunderstorms
“You can’t just treat women like they are disposable because you are hurting (due to your own actions making your last one leave). Don’t come to me for comfort–to talk and laugh and play video games together and make you feel like a human being–and then disappear. I never asked for anything, but don’t make promises you never intended to keep. Don’t marvel at the fact that I stroke your hair as if I care about you–I do: in fact, I care about people in general–and then treat me with disregard. My attention is valuable, my time is valuable, and so is my friendship. If there is one thing I can promise you, it is that I won’t give you the opportunity to heal your old wounds by gouging one out in me. By nature, you don’t deserve any part of me if you’re willing to treat others this way. I wish I’d learned that lesson long ago.”
This week has been one full of lessons for me.
I've learned exactly how fast I can move when I witness an electrical fire in a garage full of cars...that happens to be located directly under my apartment. (Spoiler: car and cat were both moved to safe locations and the fire department got there within minutes, so thankfully no vehicles burst into flame.)
I've learned that this adult ADHD means I still deal with certain types of stress the same as always: don't eat (and y’all KNOW I love food), don't sleep, and run like hell. I've actually lost a full 1.5 inches from my waist just since Thanksgiving last week.
I've also been gently reminded that we simply can't expect other people to treat us how we would treat them, whether in friendship, in love, or in life in general.
