When I Had to Admit I Loved You (But Not To You)

10/29/2018

For the first time in years,

I caught myself praying.

Not for the Lord to help me

Possess, enchant, or enthrall you,

No.

I did not ask

That you fall hotly, madly, irrevocably

In love with me,

Though I imagine that would

Feel something like a warm rain

Kissing the dry, hard earth

During my favorite spring thunderstorms

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Running on Empty

Today was a little hard. I got two hours of sleep, the address for my job interview ended up being in a field, and I’m missing you.

When bad things happen, I instinctively reach out for you; now, you’re not there. When good things happen, my impulse is to call you. You said you wanted to know about both…but I don’t need to depend on you for love, support, or encouragement if you won’t be there through thick and thin.

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