Oh, my love.
You gouge my heart as
Fast as you could fill it
and
Do neither with any intention.
I never knew
how full and
empty
I could be
All at one time.
Yet even in this void,
there is you.
-Sarah Clinton
Tag: Loss
Dented Armor
I know what you would tell me. “It’s for work. You don’t realize that all of the things I do are connected to work in some way.” “I rarely get the time to see them. It was for their kids.” “But it was Random Act of Kindness Day. Are you really going to get mad at me for doing something nice for someone? I can’t just see you all the time.” “Of course I’m going to NCA’s. How could I not, especially with the chance to meet people I could do work for? You’re actually getting mad at me for doing something I love that helps my business? When you act that way, it really doesn’t make me want to see you.”
One Day at a Time
We broke up yesterday (yes, on Valentine’s Day). At least, if nothing else, the dread is worse than the actual reality. I can be grateful that the last month of us barely being able to spend time together prepared me for actually not being together.
It’s funny though, because if it had to happen, we at least got the best possible scenario. We both know that we can’t meet the other’s needs right now. He can’t give me the support and togetherness that I need, and I certainly can’t give him the amount of space for work that he needs right now. I still don’t understand why we couldn’t compromise, but I have to accept that his needs are different from mine and that I can’t always understand those. I’m glad that I won’t have to sacrifice my needs or hide my hurt anymore, and that I won’t feel like I’m lowering my standards for what I want in a relationship.