I finally contacted him this morning. It was the longest we’d ever gone without speaking (5.5 days, to be precise). I barely slept, and I was mad at him (stemming partly from Instagram, but I don’t know if I even have the energy to write about that right now). I texted to tell him that I was angry with him, after which he said it was pretty deserved (due to the break-up itself and the communication issues that resulted in that). I fired off plenty of reasons why, beginning with IG and then moving on to short bits of things that I “let go” while we were dating but that were never really resolved to satisfaction.
Tag: dating
Dented Armor
I know what you would tell me. “It’s for work. You don’t realize that all of the things I do are connected to work in some way.” “I rarely get the time to see them. It was for their kids.” “But it was Random Act of Kindness Day. Are you really going to get mad at me for doing something nice for someone? I can’t just see you all the time.” “Of course I’m going to NCA’s. How could I not, especially with the chance to meet people I could do work for? You’re actually getting mad at me for doing something I love that helps my business? When you act that way, it really doesn’t make me want to see you.”
One Day at a Time
We broke up yesterday (yes, on Valentine’s Day). At least, if nothing else, the dread is worse than the actual reality. I can be grateful that the last month of us barely being able to spend time together prepared me for actually not being together.
It’s funny though, because if it had to happen, we at least got the best possible scenario. We both know that we can’t meet the other’s needs right now. He can’t give me the support and togetherness that I need, and I certainly can’t give him the amount of space for work that he needs right now. I still don’t understand why we couldn’t compromise, but I have to accept that his needs are different from mine and that I can’t always understand those. I’m glad that I won’t have to sacrifice my needs or hide my hurt anymore, and that I won’t feel like I’m lowering my standards for what I want in a relationship.
Maybe It’s Goodbye Again
Funny how when you finally find a way to persuade yourself to stop worrying about something, it looks like you should have been worried after all. I had a post all drafted up about the positive side of my significant other’s qualities that sometimes play a big role in our arguments, written mostly because he has this idea that he always makes me upset and that he can’t make me happy. But it seems like he’s too busy, stressed, exhausted to want to bother with us anymore… I guess if he has to cut something stressful out of his life, the woman who loves him is easier to ditch than work, his business (obviously), coaching, his recreational sport, etc.
Love Sneaks
It’s funny how love works. Sometimes all the grandest gestures in the world don’t make a bit of difference, even if you wish they would, and you just can’t love someone. Other times…seeing him burning up with fever–or exhausted and congested and frustrated and grumpy–just makes you want to take the weight of the world for him, even though he’d never let you. Somehow, perhaps inexplicably if we rely on logic, this man has unlocked your love simply by existing.
The Space In-between
Relationships are funny. You learn more about yourself than you think possible–and not always about your best qualities–and just when you think you’ve really understood a lot about someone else, they go off and do something baffling…leading you to respond in an even more baffling manner. Then, you’re left with the conclusion that maybe you have a lot to learn about the both of you and you don’t know anything about anyone after all. Perhaps that is how personal growth occurs, but I suspect it might also explain spikes in wine sales. -_-
Third Rate Romance #1: Cross-Country Third Wheel
In response to the Daily Post’s prompt Third Rate Romance
For a woman who is quite comfortable being single–and who is more likely than not to stay single for long periods of time–I sure seem to have more than my share of dating disaster stories! In fact, I may have to make a little series out of this prompt…
Let Everything Go, See What Stays
He and I decided this weekend to back up a bit on the “relationship” aspect of us (seeing as we have different views on what constitutes dating versus a relationship anyhow, this is probably a good idea). It takes him longer than it does me to determine how he feels/what he wants, and that lack of consensus has been stressful for us both. Whereas I’m happy just to be with him and live more in the present, he thinks more in terms of the future when asked how he feels, what he wants, or what makes him happy.
When Timing Doesn’t Match
The photo below would probably be really funny if it weren’t so accurate, but I feel like this experience is incredibly relatable for so many women! I know it is for me:
Sometimes, I wonder how men and women ever really make relationships work. Lots of learning, compromising, communication (humph, when we can wrangle that), and diversions/friends/exercise/wine, perhaps. I just feel that we really do speak different languages a lot of the time, and it becomes harder to translate accurately when you really care about someone.
Surprise, Surprise
This week was my significant other’s birthday, so naturally, I had some surprises up my sleeve. I met him at work during lunch to get his house key (see, he trusts me!) and headed over to get things ready for the evening. Knowing that he had an extremely busy couple weeks ahead, and that he wanted to have his place straightened up before his siblings, their families, and cousins came in from out of town (and out of the country), I figured I may as well get some cleaning and organizing done while I had the time. And I certainly had plenty of time: he would soon be busy enjoying the professional massage I had arranged as the first of his birthday surprises.