Part of the reason I was so broken when it was apparent that D. is not who I had believed was the realization that after all this time, I still had not learned to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt, to stop trusting their words even when their actions suddenly tell a very different story.
But maybe now, that lesson is finally hitting home.
I was supposed to see J. Thursday evening after practice. He had asked me the night before when I’d be done, and verified no less than three times that morning. When I finished, I texted him. No response. Called a little bit later. No answer.
Went and grabbed coffee, then sent a final text. Nothing.
And I left it at that. He messaged me the next afternoon, apologized, and explained that he had been really sick and is not at all pleasant to be around when he’s sick. That evening, instead of just brushing it off, I told him that I was upset with him and that I expect to be treated as though my time is valuable. I wouldn’t ever flake without an explanation as soon as possible, and I deserve that same courtesy in return.
He apologized, acknowledged that he believed that was true, and promised it wouldn’t happen again. We shall see, but thus far he has made good on that. Maybe I, too, can make good on my own promise to never let a man treat me that way ever again.
Maybe…I am finally free.