11/13/18
Baby when you go
silent…
I have no idea if we’re
here nor there,
Up nor down,
Or whether you’re moving
All those different directions
With her instead
-Sarah Clinton
Tag: Growth
Not Even Close
11/14/18
When I think of you,
What I miss most
Is laughing in bed,
Sitting atop your waist,
Hands on your chest,
Hair falling in a curtain
And tickling your face.
We giggled our lives away
As if we still had an eternity
Together.
-Sarah Clinton
Caution: Shattering in Progress
11/9
Tell me, love
Just so I know
How many pieces
Do you plan
To shatter
My heart into?
-Sarah Clinton
Time’s Up, and All Too Soon
11/6
Good God,
Is it really, truly
Time
To start thinking
Of letting you go?
-Sarah Clinton
Texts I Should Send But Never Will
“You can’t just treat women like they are disposable because you are hurting (due to your own actions making your last one leave). Don’t come to me for comfort–to talk and laugh and play video games together and make you feel like a human being–and then disappear. I never asked for anything, but don’t make promises you never intended to keep. Don’t marvel at the fact that I stroke your hair as if I care about you–I do: in fact, I care about people in general–and then treat me with disregard. My attention is valuable, my time is valuable, and so is my friendship. If there is one thing I can promise you, it is that I won’t give you the opportunity to heal your old wounds by gouging one out in me. By nature, you don’t deserve any part of me if you’re willing to treat others this way. I wish I’d learned that lesson long ago.”
A Life Lesson to End 27
When I turned 27, one of my challenges to myself was to begin acting on Maya Angelou’s wisdom that, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Key word here being “first.” If you know me well, you know that despite everything, I believe in people. I believe in their goodness, their capacity to change for the better, their ability to achieve anything they put their mind to. Try as I might (and trust me, I have TRIED), I can’t help that—it’s just how I’m wired. That quality is part of what makes me a good coach, a good teammate, a good partner and coworker…but it also means that I don’t walk away from unhealthy relationships, toxic work environments, or generally persnickety felines when I really should.
Vapor
February 7, 2018
You are more vapor than gust, now.
The only remnant of your presence
Appears at nightfall
When the world is all but asleep
And the wind carries along a whispered memory
That, when day breaks,
Is shoved aside
Like those old dreams
Of you and I.
-Sarah Clinton
Self-Confidence Sunday #23—Lesson Learned (Hopefully)
Part of the reason I was so broken when it was apparent that D. is not who I had believed was the realization that after all this time, I still had not learned to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt, to stop trusting their words even when their actions suddenly tell a very different story.
But maybe now, that lesson is finally hitting home.
Repeating Life’s Lessons Until They Are Learned
If there is anything I think I finally, finally need to thoroughly learn this year, it is to stop trusting men I care about more than I trust my own intuition. “Always trust your gut” is an adage I’ve heard probably from the time I could walk, but it’s a lot easier said than done when going with your gut means acknowledging that someone you love, admire, esteem, etc., is lying to you or simply isn’t who you thought they were.
Living in Color
When you’re hurting, I think it can be easy at times to allow your world to fade into gray. And that’s okay: sometimes, you have to do whatever it takes to get through whatever trial you’re facing.
Typically, I haven’t had the “luxury” of taking the time to process whatever grief or anger a situation has caused. This time, I made sure to go through that process. I’ll be honest, it was hard as hell and it pulled me way out of my comfort zone, but it was probably a lot healthier to allow myself to heal and gain wisdom from the experience.