One thing that has really struck me about the process of moving on (or whatever it is that I'm doing) is that my emotions and energy can vary extremely widely from day to day. It seems that this often is dependent upon my sense of control over the situation and whether or not we have interacted (or interacted positively).
Category: Relationships
Running on Empty
Today was a little hard. I got two hours of sleep, the address for my job interview ended up being in a field, and I’m missing you.
When bad things happen, I instinctively reach out for you; now, you’re not there. When good things happen, my impulse is to call you. You said you wanted to know about both…but I don’t need to depend on you for love, support, or encouragement if you won’t be there through thick and thin.
Self-confidence Sunday #12
Tomorrow will mark one month since he left me, and I've decided that tomorrow will also mark the day my life begins anew, the day I will let my tears begin to water seeds that, once nurtured, will blossom into grace, wisdom, empathy, resilience, and opportunity.
Thank You for Leaving Me
Had you not, I
Would never have
Known how to survive
When he did, too.
-Sarah Clinton
No Greater Agony
Maya Angelou once said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
Self-confidence Sunday #11
Maybe things don't need to be easy. Maybe I needed him to come into my life, make me happy, make me hope and dream and love and plan...and then leave me, making me feel so out of control that I am desperate to make needed changes to my life. Maybe someday, I will thank him for this.
Sprint-Crawling Along
What I do know is that it will never be a good thing to date someone who is less into me than I am into him, and who will not treasure me, cherish me, love me, respect me, and communicate with me consistently...and feel lucky to have the opportunity to do so.
You Are
You are
Every trapped story,
Each unwritten line,
Poem unpublished,
Song unsung.
You are
Love unrequited–
Mine, of course.
You are my muse,
And yet somehow,
A stumbling block too.
-Sarah Clinton
People are Allowed to Leave You
I saw this last night and found it very interesting. It tugs at my heart a bit, especially given the recent break-up (though we did talk again for almost two hours the other night, so I’m doing pretty well, all things considered), but overall I found it to ring true. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but it prompted an odd feeling of unrest in me despite the fact that I think it provides a fair assessment. As one of my grad school professors used to say, “People are just trying to get their needs met.”
Even in this Void
Oh, my love.
You gouge my heart as
Fast as you could fill it
and
Do neither with any intention.
I never knew
how full and
empty
I could be
All at one time.
Yet even in this void,
there is you.
-Sarah Clinton