10/29/2018
For the first time in years,
I caught myself praying.
Not for the Lord to help me
Possess, enchant, or enthrall you,
No.
I did not ask
That you fall hotly, madly, irrevocably
In love with me,
Though I imagine that would
Feel something like a warm rain
Kissing the dry, hard earth
During my favorite spring thunderstorms
9/10/18
Make no mistake:
It is cowardice
To coax a woman’s heart
Into a trust fall
When you never planned
To temper her descent.
-Sarah Clinton
10/22/18
It is wanting you like I do
That reveals my greatest weaknesses.
Underneath the strength
And determination
And tenacity
Is still that scared little girl
Who, despite her bravado, is
Convinced you’re going to leave
For no reason at all…
And she’ll be powerless to stop you.
Just like all the others.
12/20/2017
Oh, darling
You can’t fool me long.
No one senses your vibe better
Than a woman who knows
What it feels like
To be cherished by you.
-Sarah Clinton
9/17/18
Cruelty is
The coward’s response to pain.
Be brave.
-Sarah Clinton
9/16/18
The thing about pain this deep
Is that most of your time is spent
Weaving a cocoon to envelope you,
Shield you from concerned eyes while
Your broken body is wracked with sobs.
Alone.
And the rest of it…
Oh, the rest you spend
Thrashing ‘round like a wounded animal,
Locked away,
Unaware of time and space
Or anything but agony.
That’s when you all but beg
The powers that be
To strike you down for your transgressions,
Whether they be borne from malice or
Simply loving too much.
5/27/18
Sometimes I remember that night.
Rain pouring down around us,
Your kisses hot and wet,
The taste of salt on your lips.
The hood of your brother’s car was
The perfect brace in a pinch.
God, if only you’d understood
How much I loved you then.
If only I’d known it wouldn’t matter.
-Sarah Clinton
February 7, 2018
You are more vapor than gust, now.
The only remnant of your presence
Appears at nightfall
When the world is all but asleep
And the wind carries along a whispered memory
That, when day breaks,
Is shoved aside
Like those old dreams
Of you and I.
-Sarah Clinton
D. certainly threw me for a loop–both when he appeared and when he unceremoniously left (and then, of course, began doing the very same thing to another woman while lying to me about it, but that’s another story). Despite the short time we’d known each other, his leaving without any acknowledgement or offer of closure hit me harder than perhaps any other dating snafu since my early twenties. I had stopped eating, started drinking, and was pretty much a mess overall.
There are few situations lonelier than being wanted by seemingly everybody…except the one person whose attention you crave.
You know, I get hit on every day. Sometimes it bothers me more than others, but the vast majority of the time, I prefer to be left alone. You know, treated like a human being rather than an item to be possessed. That sentiment gets infinitely more painful each time someone hits on me in “real life” or I get an overwhelming number of messages on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Twitter, freaking Words with Friends (because yes, women get hit on EVERYWHERE), etc…and meanwhile, I am being ignored by the one man who really made me believe in the possibility of forever.
